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Most badass things ever said

“My little sister and big sister used to team up and do that to me and put makeup on me when I was little,” Mixed Martial Artist Joe Stevenson after holding his opponent's (Spencer Fisher) arms and pummeling him into submission (aka Salaverry) at UFC 104.

I will destroy you -- Mikhael Gorbachev to Ronald Reagan.  Included due to the fact that it was one world power to another, and punctuated by the fact that he took his shoe off and beat it on a podium while he said it.  [disqualified from contention due to the more recent beat down of the Soviet Union by the free world]

Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall  -- Ronald Reagan  Also beefed up by the fact that it was between the two leaders of the world.  Also because Reagan knocked it down for him.

Already did once today -- Brodie Bruce played by Jason Lee in Mall Rats.  In response to the question, "would you ever make whoopie in public?" on a live dating-game television show.  Extra points because he pointed to the girl in question, whom he had ravaged (willingly) in an elevator that morning during her date with another man that he hated, and despite the fact that she had dumped him earlier that morning.

To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women -- Conan, played by Arnold Schwartzenegger (thus the badass Austrian accent), in Conan the Barbarian.  In response to the question, "Conan.  What is best in life?"  Extra points for being one of the most badass movies of all time.

I know --  Han Solo played by Harrison Ford responding to Leia who said "I love you." Credit goes to Harrison Ford who apparently improvised the line and to Irvin Kershner who recognized the genius and match to the character.

Nuts -- Lieutenant General Harry Kinnard in response to Adolf Hitler's request that he surrender the 101st Airborne Division at Bastogne during the Battle of the Bulge.  Extra Points because he was cut off from all supplies, surrounded by the whole of the German Army and in the middle of freezing conditions in a German forest, and he beat down the lot of them.  Also because it really happened

"Well, buddy," he drawled, "just pull your tank in behind me.....I'm the 82d Airborne, and this is as far as the bastards are going!"  --  Private First Class Martin, F Company, 325th Glider Infantry Regiment  response to a soldier in a tank who said he was looking for a safe place.

"Crucify me upside-down because I'm not worthy to die like Christ" -- St Peter upon being martyred; slight deduction because it probably never happened. Extra points because Satanists think their upside-down cross is anti-christ when it's actually about as pro-Christ as something could be.

"First, I believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of landing a man on the moon and returning him safely to the earth." -- John Kennedy  Extra points because it was a ludicrous idea at the time and because it actually happened

"Don't Fuck me" by aka Alejandro Sosa played by Paul Shenar to Antonio Montana aka Scarface played by Al Pacino.  Everyone thinks Scarface was a badass, but he was nothing compared to Sosa.  He fucked Sosa and Sosa was the end of Scarface.

"Are you not entertained?" -- Russell Crowe as Maximus in Gladiator.  Extra points having killed eight gladiators easily and tossed his sword into the box seats.

The Pullitzer --  William Forrester played by Sean Connery in the movie Finding Forrester He played a secretive author tutoring a promising student.  The student said he had won an essay contest.  Forrester replied, I was in an essay contest once.  The student asked if he had won, and Forrester quickly said "of course I won."  The student asked what contest was it?

She was the prom queen -- Stanley Goodspeed played by Nicolas Cage in response to a friend's (Sean Connery) question about Goodspeed's wife.  badass because in an earlier scene Cage told Connery he'd 'do his best' and Connery said, "Loser's always whine about their best.  Winner's go home and fuck the prom queen" 

"Who's house... runs house?" -- Matt Damon as Loki, Angel of Death, in Dogma, upon getting back into the business of bearing God's Wrath after a 3000 year hiatus.

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